Part 1: Sexology of the female
masturbation: Definitions, Uses...
Subject Index
1 - The masturbation: an absolutely
normal practice
2 - Myths and taboos
3 - A doctor's opinion
4 - Technical and practical studies on
the female population
5 - Masturbation and erotic toys
6 - 10 reasons for practicing
masturbation!
Part 2: Female Masturbation Techniques (Coming Soon)
Part
1: Sexology of the female masturbation: Definitions, Uses...
For those (women or men) who wish to
know more about masturbation, I compiled several papers, sources of advice, and
definitions on the big, still often taboo subject of masturbation, particularly
when it is practiced by women.
1 - The masturbation: an absolutely normal practice
Masturbation consists of touching,
caressing or rubbing ones own genitals (or those of ones partner) to achieve
pleasurable feelings and excitement. The research of Kinsey and of Masters and
Johnson showed that it's a natural activity and that it allows the release of
sexual tension.
When?
At any age one may masturbate
regularly or occasionally. During childhood, girls and boys often accidentally
discover masturbation: they touch their genitalia, realize that it can be very
pleasant, and thus continue this activity. Some girls get pleasurable feelings
by crossing their legs and squeezing their thighs against one another. But it's
often in adolescence that one becomes aware of the sexual character of this
practice.
Masturbation is generally a young person's first sexual experience.
From the age of 12 or 13, most boys masturbate regularly. They begin earlier
than the girls because their drives are more focused on their genitals. Girls
are usually not yet conscious of the importance of the clitoris in sexual
excitement. By the end of adolescence, approximately 90 % of the boys and 70 %
of the girls are masturbating.
Thus, there are more women than men who have
never masturbated when they have their first sexual relations with another
person. Most people continue to masturbate when they're adults. For men,
masturbation is more regular and leads more often to orgasm. Nevertheless, as
they mature to adulthood, this practice
seems to decline for men, whereas for women it increases.
Substitute
or alternative in the sexual intercourse?
No, women who masturbate aren't
necessarily lonely nor have incompetent partners! Although men sometimes don't
accept this practice well because they do judge it to be a sign of
dissatisfaction. It's nevertheless natural to continue to masturbate even when
one has a regular partner and a satisfactory sexual life. Masturbation can be
considered as a supplementary activity, and even as a temporary substitute for
sexual relations.
One sometimes masturbates when ones partner isn't sexually
available (pregnancy, periods, conflict) but masturbation can have special
advantages; it brings another type of pleasure and allows a person to enrich
her/his sexual life, while getting to know her/his own body better and to
master it. On the other hand, if it is perceived as a refusal, if the woman
thinks that her partner masturbates because she's not desirable, it would
definitely be useful to discuss it together. Without communication,
masturbation can be read as a sign of anger, alienation, or dissatisfaction.
A
self-abuse?
There's no "abuse", and it's
not only for oneself. Masturbation can be practiced in front of ones partner. A
lot of people find it very exciting. It's doubtless the best means to learn how
the other one prefers to be stimulated. Each can guide the hand of the partner
to show him (her) which pressure and which rhythm he or she prefers.
Mutual masturbation can be very pleasant. Ones own desire will be increased by
the pleasure of the other. One can also do it before or during sexual
intercourse: it serves then as prelude, increases the excitement, or allows the
couple to perfect the sexual intercourse.
The
best road towards the orgasm
A woman almost always has her first
orgasm by masturbating. The discovery of this source of pleasure will largely
determine her future sexual life. Masturbation is the erotic activity that
allows women to reach orgasm most frequently (95 %) and most quickly (within 4
minutes). Masturbation even increases vaginal lubrication and thus can
compensate for the vaginal dryness that may hinder women from reaching orgasm
as they get older.
2 - Myths and taboos
A
still taboo subject
Formerly condemned, masturbation is
accepted as a natural practice today. Nevertheless, one still doesn't speak
about it freely. 42% of women admit to masturbating, while more than 90% of men
do. In fact, the sense of guilt is more important for women: they refrain more
from this activity and admit it less easily also.
During childhood, the
repressive attitude of certain parents can engender later a sense of guilt.
Furthermore, for women, the fantasies connected to masturbation (old fantasies,
going back up to early childhood) are much stronger. They thus feel guiltier in
adulthood if they continue to masturbate while they have a well fulfilled
sexual life.
The
successful ideas
Masturbation isn't dirty, shameful, or
dangerous for the health. Nevertheless, "Onanism" was considered for
a long time to be a bad habit.
Centuries of miseducation and
prejudice helped to make this pleasure into a cause of guilt. The modern
translation of the word keeps the negative image alive: to masturbate comes
from the association of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (soil, make
dirty). No, masturbation will not make you stutter, won't make you deaf or
blind, nor a madman or epileptic. It doesn't cause acne, doesn't make you lose
your virginity, nor does it kill either. It CAN be a sign of an emotional
problem if it becomes compulsive.
Men may feel reassured that they don't risk
becoming impotent or sterile by masturbating. They don't use up their sperm
cells by "wasteful" ejaculations. Certainly, if a man ejaculates
several times in a few hours, there'll be fewer sperm in the later
ejaculations, but it's only temporary. Testicles make millions of sperm cells
every day (those that aren't expelled by ejaculation are decomposed when they
get old and then are recycled inside the testicles).
Finally, masturbation doesn't reduce
(nor increase) the size of the penis or clitoris! As a matter of fact,
masturbation is a normal and beneficial practice for the sexual blooming of
each person.
Masturbation is the most spontaneous
form of sexuality and the simplest to practice. It allows one to discover one's
own body and plays an essential role in adding to sexual satisfaction with a
partner or replacing an absent partner. And it can also boost the imagination
and be an erotic activity for those without partners.
Next to helping you learn about
yourself, masturbation has a very important role in human life. It is a means
for women as well as men to relax: "when one has this pleasure, one feels
relaxed and calmed until the tension rises again later". Because sex is
new to everyone at first, it can feel like you are thrust into the unknown in
situations where anyone would naturally be apprehensive, sometimes even
anxious. Testing new things by yourself first can help you feel more
comfortable with a partner.
Masturbation
and pleasure-training
Masturbation can train you to know
what your body is capable of in its response to pleasure, in the enrichment of
its sensations and its feelings, as well as in the blossoming of your
fantasies. It's extremely balancing to discover and to exploit your own
possibilities of pleasure. During adolescence, masturbation gives physical
pleasure a purpose and a place in the young person's life. At all ages,
masturbation functions to compensate for or to replace other sexual games when
they're impossible, whether for a moment or permanently. For animals,
masturbation also seems to play this role and to be us ed as a method of reassurance: female monkeys use a finger or other
object, male monkeys use their hands, elephants use their trunk, wild deer and domestic
bulls rub themselves against trees, dogs and cats use their tongues…
Masturbation
and freedom of the game
In addition, for human beings,
masturbation calms fear and stress, because pleasure has a fundamental role in
one's psychic balance. Masturbation also has a playful role, of escapism
without danger for oneself or for others : by releasing your fantasy life, by
playing with erotic images, by escaping into an unreal world you can level out,
release tensions, build up your secret garden where you martial your strength
and feed its vitality in order to hold out in a crushing, exhausting society
where the perspectives offered are often inferior and empty, where you're
submerged by social relations without pleasure, dissatisfied and anonymous.
Sometimes masturbation has no role of replacement: sex for you and your partner
is good, but one of you feels you are missing out on another type of sexuality,
where you don't have to pay attention to anybody else, where you follow your
own rhythm and the wanderings of your own imagination.
Masturbation
and sexual balance
In a couple, one or the other may also
want a higher frequency of orgasms: masturbation is the simplest means to
achieve this desire and to dissipate the frustration. And actually,
masturbation can also involve the partner, becoming a part of the game for
both: to reduce human sexuality to vaginal penetration means neglecting the
wealth and variety of the behaviours that can bring human enjoyment.
Masturbation offers to the couple a possibility of different sensations, to
women for whom this way of reaching orgasm can bring another kind of pleasure;
to men, for whom masturbation often brings an intensity of excitement that is
not allowed by either the softness of a vagina nor the obligation to hold on
for a certain time.
Masturbation
and guilt
Some feel guilty about resorting to
masturbation, as if they stole something from their significant other: if to be
satisfied by masturbation leads you to refuse sex with your partner, naturally
that's a problem. But, in a couple, it's not necessary that we do everything
together; must all our pleasures be strictly shared? shopping, sports, music,
reading? If masturbation isn't an escape, but a search for balance, then you
both will be at ease, and can experience your sex life with each other without
tension. Whereas frustration due to an insufficient sexuality might cause you
to resent your partner, and even wish to turn away from sex with him or her.
A
personal choice
As a matter of fact, there's a
multitude of ways to live out your sexuality. Masturbation is one: by yourself
or in the presence of your partner, frequent or occasional, solitary or
mutually shared, it colours the life of one person, is absent in the life of
another one, is present in that of the third, but retains its fundamental
quality of always being accessible without ever being imposed, something that
people can take or leave according to their whim.
3 - A doctor's opinion
Doctor Yves Ferroul, on December 6th,
2000
Most women caress, rub, or press their
genitals while in various positions: standing, sitting, or lying down. You can
stretch out on the bed, with legs spread or with knees up, or sit down with
your back against the head of the bed or against the wall. Certain women like
directly touching the clitoris; others prefer an indirect stimulation by
caressing the parts of the "mountain of Venus" beside the clitoral
shaft. It's often the middle finger which is used. You can caress your clitoris
from top to bottom, from side to side, or rub in a circle around it if you're
too sensitive.
The best pressure and rhythm vary from
one woman to the next. Please begin slowly and gently, and then you can get
faster and press harder until you find what is easiest for you and what is the
most pleasant. Many women keep the same rhythm all the way to the orgasm;
others pause periodically, or vary the speed.
Many women insert a finger or an
object into the vagina. To insert the middle finger can both feel good and be
useful. It can be a support for the other fingers which are stimulating the
neighbouring erogenous zones. Your finger also allows you to use vaginal
secretions to lubricate the clitoris and the small lips. Otherwise, please
moisten your fingers with some saliva or use a water-based lubricant.
Continuous and overly intense stimulation of the clitoris can cause it to
slightly ache. If so, shift your caresses to a different area. Stimulating the
clitoral hood can work if the clitoris itself becomes irritated by the
friction.
The
orgasm
When you feel an orgasm approaching,
you can press your heels against one another to increase the pressure in the
groin. You can also contract then loosen the muscles of the pelvis and the
buttocks. Bodily movements and groaning may help some women to more easily
reach orgasm, while others
Fantasies play a naturally important
role: you can relive a hot scene with your partner, or if that doesn't excite
you enough, please imagine what you'd like to do with somebody else! It's only fantasy,
remember. You might reach an orgasm in a few minutes but it can sometimes take
a quarter of an hour: everything depends on your mood, on your physical state
(fatigue, stress), and on your excitement.
When you're at the edge of the orgasm,
contract the muscles of the pelvis and buttocks. You can also do
"Kegel" exercises by rhythmically contracting the same muscle that
can start and stop the flow while urinating.
It is good to pursue this stimulation during
the orgasm; it will very likely be more intense and may later enable you to
have multiple orgasms.
Any
sorts of objects
You can stretch out on your stomach on
top of a pillow and rub yourself against it or rub against a pillow placed
between your thighs. Stretched out on your back, you can use a sheet or a
blanket pulled in a back and forth movement. Some women sit down on the floor
and rub themselves against the foot of a chair. Even there, the most important
thing is the regularity of the rhythm.
Dildos, vibrators, or other "Sexy
Toys" can be very enjoyable. There's a multitude of fun gadgets invented
for the pleasure of the woman (alone or with her partner).
With
some water
During a bath, soaping the body and
the genitals is a good start, but please, don't introduce your fingers into
your vagina: the soap could modify the PH of your vaginal flora, and you could
even catch candidacies, or cystitis. If you want to directly stimulate the
clitoral zone, you may sit down or kneel and use the spray from the showerhead.
You may position yourself so that the water from the tub spouts drips or
splashes against our clitoris. You can move on to manual stimulation if these
methods don't bring you to an orgasm. Certain models of bidets send a small fountain
upward. Please, also think of Jacuzzi and "whirlpool" bathtubs which
can engender very voluptuous sensations.
Vary
the Pleasures
Why not try less intimate places? Even
public places? No, it's not a question of playing exhibitionist, but simply of bringing
more excitement to the game. You can very well indulge yourself for a few
minutes during work, in the public toilet, at an evening party, or even in the
plane (don't forget the blanket in that case!).
By looking at yourself in a mirror you
can see what you look like when you're excited, and when you reach orgasm!
Please, also think of stimulating the
other parts of your body. Massage your breasts, arms, and even your whole body
with an oil or a moisturizing cream; this can constitute a good beginning. And
what is more, caressing your breasts, nipples, and stomach when you're at the
edge of an orgasm can intensify the pleasure.
Please try various positions: while
lying on the bed with a pillow under your stomach, reach your hand over your buttocks
to touch your genitals; try it standing, or leaning against the wall. Let your
imagination express itself.
4
- Technical and practical studies on the female population
The
art of the feminine masturbation
Women enjoy giving themselves
pleasure. The report of the famous American sex therapist Shere Hite, who, in
the 1970s, conducted a survey of women all across the United States, showed
this. How they do their masturbation is also something this study tried to
learn. Here are some results and testimonies extracted from the "Hite
report".
3000 women anonymously answered this
comprehensive questionnaire of feminine sexuality (orgasm, sexual intercourse,
clitoris, masturbation). 82% declared that they masturbated, and, among them,
95% had no trouble reaching orgasm every time they wanted it. All this,
according to the sex therapist, contradicted the usually accepted idea that
women are "slow to start", and that they have difficulty in reaching
orgasm. Over all, the inquiry allowed six types of masturbation to be
distinguished (with some variants).
In the very great majority of the
cases (73%), the woman manually excites the clitoral region and/or vulva while
lying on her back.
- "I use my finger to stimulate the clitoris, sometimes inserting another finger into my vagina at the same time. I touch only my genital area when I masturbate";
- "I masturbate by manipulating my clitoris in a side to side massaging manner, starting gently and increasing in intensity of pressure. I use my finger (one hand). The motion is slightly circular combined with side to side, mainly";
- "I masturbate with my fingers on my clitoris, and other fingers gently pinching, pulling, and scratching, across the surface of my nipples. Sometimes I rub up and down, sometimes in circles. And my legs are sometimes together, and sometimes apart. It is especially exciting to hold my hand still and get the friction by movement of the body against the stationary finger".
- "When masturbating, I lie on my stomach with my legs slightly apart, using both hands, the knuckles of the right hand providing the direct pressure to the mons, with the left hand adding more pressure to the right hand. The motion of a moderately rapid front-to-back movement provides the clitoral friction I need";
- "I masturbate on my stomach with my legs together, pressing on my clitoris with the fingers of both hands (index and middle fingers), one on top of the other. Sometimes I fondle my breasts or buttocks with one hand, or insert my fingers into my vagina, but not usually";
- "Then I turn onto my stomach. I begin to use a circular motion with two fingers on my clitoris and occasionally an up and down motion with my clitoris between my fingers. With my right hand I check to see if my vagina is wet, and fantasize. I continue to stimulate my clitoris
- with my left hand and then insert two fingers into my vagina";
- "I kind of hold the vibrator more or less steady under me as I lie face down, and move my body on and around it".
- "I make a clump in the bedding about the size of a fist (I used to use the head of my poor teddy bear, but since I became too old to sleep with a teddy bear, a wad of the sheets has to suffice) and then lie on my stomach on top of it so that it exerts pressure on my clitoris. I then move my hips in a circular motion until I climax very simple";
- "I don't masturbate. Well, a little rubbing against the sheets maybe";
- "Usually I masturbate on the corner of a chair or something similar with a pillow between my legs. I hump up and down with my legs together. I discovered this method by accident as a child of four";
- "I draw myself up slowly against a bathroom sink, and press my mons against it very hard. The sink is stimulating because it is cold. Sometimes I revolve my legs to press harder, and sometimes 'flap' them to vibrate the vulva";
- "When I masturbate, I sit up in a chair or on the bed, cross my legs right over left at the knees and use the pressure of my inner thighs, exerting all the energy in my body and cantering it in my genitals."
- "I masturbate by rubbing my thighs together, usually lying down, but it can be done sitting up (in an office, on a bus, etc.). I rub them rhythmically, putting subtle pressure on the clitoris. The tension gradually builds to an orgasm".
- "I masturbate with shower water only. I aim it at my clitoris, legs spread apart";
- "I lie in the tub on my back with a stream of very warm water on my vagina, mons, and clitoris. The harder the pressure and hotter the water, the quicker the orgasm";
- "I remove the head from my shower to allow a steady stream of water to come out. I open the vaginal lips, exposing my clitoris";
- "I put one finger on my clitoris and with the other hand I move a bottle in and out of my vagina (a plastic bottle)";
- "My husband works a dildo in and out of my vagina while I press a vibrator to my clitoris";
- "I usually use a back and forth movement in my vagina, or just hold my fingers there for a while".
- Finally, 11 % of the women having answered the questionnaire combine some of these techniques to end in the orgasm.
- "I masturbate of many manners. On the back in the bathtub, on my bed, on the divan, on the floor and everything crosses my bosoms, my stomach, my thighs, my buttocks, my vagina and my clitoris there. I like rolling my clitoris between the thumb and the index, a finger in the vagina and playing with my bosoms and with my nipples, which I find very beautiful. So by loving me I let wander my imagination. I also like varying my caresses with a vibrator"
Dildos
or godemichés
These objects generally have the shape
and size of a male genital organ in erection. Their shape can be more or less
realistic, some are smooth and discreet and look nothing like an actual penis;
some, like the godemiché (wrinkled 'loaf'), can be very realistic. They come in
all sizes. They're either hard (made of plastic or metal), or flexible (of soft
latex).
How
to use them?
You can press the vibrator firmly
against the small lips varying the pressure until you orgasm.
With legs apart, you can hold the
length of the vibrator against your genitals to rub yourself with it forward
and backward. You can use the vibrator also while sitting or stretched out. You
can move the vibrator in circular movements, or squat above it. Use your
imagination for other positions and other techniques. In fact, most of women
don't use this instrument inside their vagina, but only outside to stimulate
the clitoris.
Vibrators
The vibrator is an electrical device
which vibrates, massages, and which is thus very effective in stimulating the
clitoris and the inside of the vagina. Battery powered vibrators are more noisy
but are the most popular models. Certain models can vary the intensity, which
allows you to vary the sensations. Others are even hollow and contain a liquid
which can be expelled by a piston to "feign the ejaculation".
6 - 10 reasons for practicing masturbation!
Advantages
and inconveniences
These sexy toys are very easy to use,
and terribly effective! A woman can each an orgasm within 3 minutes. These
instruments are very useful if you're tired, if you don't have a lot of time,
or if you're anorgasmic. But this kind of masturbation can never replace your
hand, or your partner.
The sensations that manual stimulation
can offer you are much richer. So, please use both!
1. Masturbation allows us to
investigate our body and to discover the sensations, the movements, the
caresses which excite us most. We then know best our sexual needs and the way
of satisfying them. This knowledge can obviously be shared with our partner.
2. Masturbation is a physical and
emotional reassurance. It releases the tensions that arise from sexual impulses, and helps us to
sleep. No more need of sleeping pills!
3. It makes us more lucid by teaching
us to separate love from sex. Reaching an orgasm obviously does not prove that one is
in love!
4. If you're single, your will power
may still fail concerning chocolate bars, but by masturbating regularly, you
won't tear your hair out, and you won't be tempted to go to bed any more with
whoever is handy.
5. It's an occasion to concentrate on
your own pleasure, without needing to worry about your partner's pleasure.
6. Masturbation allows you to fight
the effects of certain sexual dysfunctions: anorgasmy for women and premature
ejaculation for men. After a period of abstinence, it's better if the man masturbates at least one hour before
sexual intercourse; it'll help him to delay his ejaculation.
7. The more you masturbate; the more
orgasms you can have, with or without your partner. Women who get used to
masturbating until they have an orgasm have more chances to reach an orgasm
later with their partner.
8. It's good for your health: orgasm
increases the blood circulation, fights the effects of stress, and gives you sensational
skin. For women, it strengthens and at the same time softens the muscles Kinsey
used during love.
9. The report proved it: people who
masturbate when young have a more fulfilled, more active sex life, and continue
to do so much longer.
10. There's no evil in doing oneself
good.
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