Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Part 2: Female Masturbation Techniques

Ok ladies; let's have a look at some different techniques that will work to get you off. The majority of women, me included can only attain orgasm through manual stimulation. There are a few who can achieve orgasm through intercourse alone and I'm jealous of them. Anyway, here are some techniques that might add a little variety to your masturbation play. 

Sooner or later the majority of us learn to achieve an orgasm from masturbatory activity of some sort or another. Once we find a way of 'getting off' it can be the easy option to stick with that method all the time. Though that may be fine if all you want is a surefire orgasm, 'variety is the spice of life', and a few alternative techniques may just add something to your fun. In this section I have recorded a whole range of techniques that I have tried or which I have heard of and think sound practical and fun. Feel free to try any or all of them, and add to them if you want. 

The simple truth is there are as many different masturbation techniques as there are women masturbating, and that's more than you might think!! If you've never tried to masturbate before then I suggest you begin by using what you have at your fingertips, umm, your fingertips, before moving onto more advance techniques and spending your hard cash on sex toys. Toys are great but I personally think there is no better way to explore yourself than with your own fingers, after all you expect your partner to! 

Direct clitoral stimulation: 

Fingers: Most girls probably first discover masturbation by innocently touching their genitals with their fingers. It's therefore probably not surprising that hand and finger stimulation of the vulva and clitoris is reported to be the most common method of masturbation among women. It is also the easiest as nothing extra is needed for a satisfying session. So how to best do it? Nothing is ever as simple as 'one best way for all' so some real life examples picked up from various sources is possibly the best way of illustrating what is involved: 

Lying on the bed facing up with legs together and ankles crossed. Index finger slipped between the labia majora so that it presses along the length of the clitoris. Gentle but firm wrist movements to make the inserted finger rub the clitoris in up and down, side to side and circular motions. Speed and strength of movement increased as excitement builds. Sensations increased by squeezing thigh muscles together at same time as finger rubbing clitoris. 

Lying on back with legs drawn up and knees allowed to flop apart. Palm of hand placed on pubic mound and fingers allowed to rest on open vulva. Movement of hand to stimulate clitoris in side to side, up and down, circular and gentle pinching movements. 

Lying face down on bed with both hands underneath and between legs. Fingers pressed against vulva and clitoris. Pelvic thrusts to move the genitals up and down against the fingers. 

Sitting in a comfortable chair with legs well spread. Taking clitoris between the tips of both index fingers, rolling it around and pulling back on its hood to get maximum stimulation. 

Rolling, rolling, and rolling - ok, for this technique you need to place your thumb and forefinger around the clitoris and gently roll it in between your fingers. You can start off with a slow gentle roll and then gradually pick up the pace and the pressure according to what feels good to you. 

Circular rub - I generally find that if I am in a hurry this technique works wonders. Just take your first two fingers from either hand and place them over top of you clitoris. Then begin moving them in a circular motion over top of the clitoris. You can vary the speed and pressure easily with this technique. I find that if I use this one I can reach orgasm in under a minute. If you want to change the feel slightly just add your favorite lube and everything becomes very slippery. 

Tapping - This technique is a little different and it's not for everyone, as with anything some things will work for some people and not for others. For this one I use my left hand to pull the pussy lips back out of the way so that the clitoris is very exposed. Then with my index finger on my right hand I lightly begin tapping the fingertip gently on the clitoris. It results in a very delicious sensation that builds to a point where you just can't hold it back anymore. 

Combination - There is nothing that gets me wetter faster than using a combination of both hands. Have your fingers from one hand playing with your clitoris, stimulating it however you wish. Take the other hand and place two or three fingers inside your vagina and begin thrusting. Basically you're simulating intercourse with this action and it works rather nicely in tandem with the clitoral stimulation and can bring you to a rocking orgasm! 


Water is your friend. It can be used in a multitude of ways to get you off! Try these out. Please avoid sending strong streams of water directly into your vagina as that can be potentially dangerous. Think bath tub here, think shower and think Jacuzzi/hot tub. All of these can be used to great effect in the wonderful world magic kingdom of clitoral massage. 

Running Water - I'm sure you've all stuck your hands under the water flow when you're filling the tub for your bath to check the temperature of the water. Now, just imagine that same water flow landing on your clitoris. It's a wild feeling. This is the first way that I ever got off, before I even realized what it was that it was doing. The only thing you need for this one is some time and a bathtub. Hopefully your bathtub will be shaped properly so that you can slide your butt down against the end of the tub and position yourself so that the water flow will land on your clitoris. It's best to start of with a lighter water flow and gradually work up to a higher pressure flow. Make sure that you test the warmth of the water before sticking your pussy under it, wouldn't want to get scalded in that area! 

Water Spray - this on is just a bit of a variation on the one above. In this instance just place your thumb or finger over the faucet and then direct the spray so that it falls directly on your clitoris. 

Shower: Let's look at the most common technique which involves the use of that neat little tool, the shower head. The hand held kinds are especially useful for this approach. The first thing you want to do is adjust the temperature so that it is not too hot for the sensitive area of the vagina. You can always turn up the heat once you are accustomed to the temperature. Then find a comfortable position - either sitting on a seat within the shower, or lying down in the tub. 

Shower stalls can be a bit confining for this form of masturbation, but there is usually enough room to sit on the floor with your legs bent. I suggest for the first time that you do this that you not stand. I've found that when I'm nearing climax that my legs tend to weaken, and we don't want any unnecessary trips to the emergency room when you accidentally slip and fall. 

Now, take the shower head and let the water spray over your body, feel the tingling sensations as it sprays against your breasts. Imagine the sensations are being created by the hands of your lover and spray where you want to feel the touch. Slowly make your way down your torso to your vaginal area. Spreading your legs, let the water reach up and down the insides of your thighs, and when your ready for advancing, move it closer to your clit. Remember that direct contact with your clit may be overpowering, so try moving the water stream back and forth. Try bringing it closer, and moving it farther away to cover a larger area. 

You also might note that shower massagers come with many different settings to adjust the streams of the water - everything from mist to pulse. Experiment, try them all! Start with the lightest amount of pressure and work your way up. If you are sitting, you can always operate the water with one hand, and use the fingers on the other hand to either stimulate your breasts and nipples, or you can insert a finger or two and see how that feels. 

The main point is to relax and let your body feel all that is happening to it. If it feels good, keep doing it. If it's not right, try sitting in a different position, change the water temperature, try a different pulse setting anything that makes if feel better. 

Shower Massage - this is a great one if you've got one of those Shower Massage devices because you can pick whether it pulses or comes out in a steady spray. There are many options. You'll have to experiment with them to see what works best for you. Here again, you can adjust the pressure and temperature of the spray to whatever you'd like them to be. I've found on occasion that using cold water produces a different feeling than the warm water. 

Bath Tub: Now we can move onto the bathtub. Like the shower head the bathtub holds many ways to excite and masturbate. Many women, me included, enjoy lying on their backs in their bathtub and allowing the water from the faucet to wash over their vagina. This isn't always the easiest of positions to achieve but it can be great fun. 

Fill the tub with water about halfway. Lie on your back, and bring your buttocks up so they are against or almost against the end of the tub with the faucet. Position your vagina as directly below the faucet as possible. Adjust the temperature and pressure of the water flow to your liking; you might have to tilt up your pelvis to bring your vagina closer to the water flow of the faucet. It might help to use one or both hands to spread open your labia (vagina "lips") so the water can flow directly onto your clitoris. Just one word of warning here, make sure the water isn't too hot! There is nothing worse that scolding your pussy and it certainly isn't pleasurable. Once you have found the right position, lie back, relax, fantasize, and enjoy! 

"Occasionally I bring myself to orgasm in the bathtub. First I excite myself with fingers, and then I let the water on and get into an acrobatic position so my vagina is directly under the faucet. I start with the water warm or cool and at a low pressure on my clitoris. When I have gotten excited I run the water harder and lift myself closer to the water and let it pound into my vagina and then I come and it's the most fantastic feeling." 

Another technique that can be fun involves filling an empty detergent bottle (one with a nozzle) or shampoo bottle with warm water. Sit in a full bath tub, ensuring your vulva is at least a couple of inches under water. Put the nozzle of the bottle as close as you like to your clitoris and squeeze. After each squeeze the bottle will spring back into shape, sucking in more water so there will be no need to stop for a refill. 

Jacuzzi Jive /Hot Tub: If you're lucky enough to own a hot tub/Jacuzzi, then the chances are you're already aware of the wonderful effects that the water that flows from its jets can have on your body. Once you've found the right spot let yourself go and enjoy the warm water and indulge in a little fantasy. I like to begin by simply relaxing in the tub and allowing the water to wash over me. At this point I'll open my mind and begin to fantasize, sometimes touching my breasts, other times just lying back and relaxing. Once my mind is aroused, I'll turn towards the water jets and position my vagina clitoris so it's directly in the path of the flowing water. A word of caution here: Never position yourself to close to the jet, as the jet has considerably more pressure behind it than that from the shower or bathtub. Begin by placing a fair amount of distance between yourself and the water jet and then move closer until you discover a spot that places just the right amount of pressure on your clitoris. Once you've found the right position, relax and enjoy the soothing sensation of the water as it washes over your body. All you need to 
do is position yourself so that the water flow lands directly on your vagina and clitoris 

Good Vibrations

Vibrator Play: Vibrators are handy little gadgets and in my opinion every woman should have one tucked away in a drawer for those moments when you really need it. Vibrators are primarily used for clitoral stimulation but can also be used vaginally or anally if you prefer. You can try different combinations out to see which you like best. For those of us that take rather a long time to reach orgasm continued manual stimulation becomes quite tiring and wrist fatigue has probably prematurely ended countless masturbation sessions for many women. If this is the case then the answer could well be to make the very small investment required to buy a vibrator. 

When it comes to vibrators there are basically two types -(i) those operated by batteries and (ii) those that require mains electricity. Whichever type you choose it's important to realize that both types are powerful although in general the mains electric ones more so. 

It's a good idea not to use a vibrator directly on your clitoris the first time you ever try one because you might well find that the stimulation they afford is too intense. So I'd suggest that you first try placing it on your labia or your mons. You may even want to try using it whilst you have your panties on as this can produce a different more subtle sensation than direct clitoral contact. Don't be afraid to try new things, they aren't called sex toys for nothing. The idea is to have fun and find what works for you personally. 

One thing that is often over looked when people first try vibrators is lubricants. Just simply adding a small amount of lubricant on your chosen toy before you begin playing can greatly enhance your experience. Just be sure that the lubricant is suitable for use with the vibrator of your choice. 

Clit rub - Vibrators are great for clitoral control since you can change alter the speed of the vibration easily and bring yourself to the edge and then slow it down again. Pressure is a key factor as well. You may also want to try rubbing the vibrator over your inner thighs and around your pussy lips and even up over your nipples. Masturbation doesn't have to be confined to just the clitoral area. 

Odd vibrators: Apart from commercially shop brought vibrators there are other vibrating devices that you could press into service for fun. For example, the back of the head of an electric tooth brush is great fun. The fact that it is really narrow allows it to be kept on the clitoris even if you like to squeeze your legs while you play. Automatic washing machines during spin cycle - if you can sit on it - are great. Electric shavers can be fun too, but you have to cover the cutting head. (I used this method as a girl at home several years ago. I would remove the cutting screen and would use sticking plasters to wrap the cutting head to make a padded surface with which to stimulate myself.) - Look around, you will find loads of things that vibrate in kitchens, bathrooms and garages and many can be used to masturbate, provided there are no sharp or moving parts that could hurt you. 

Dildo is the name for a substitute penis used for penetrative masturbation. A good dildo will provide you with hours of entertainment for when you're going solo or even when you've got a partner to play with. It's well worth the money to spend and get a good one that's going to last for a long time. You want to make sure that the surface is easily cleaned. Some of the latex ones had pores in them which made them very difficult to keep clean. There are some really cool gel dildos on the market these days. Check out your local love shop and see what they have to offer. 

Warning: Care should always be taken when inserting any object into you. Excessive size or over enthusiastic movements can cause internal bruising or worse. Small objects or items that can break or shed parts can cause real problems, such as cutting or internal losses, both of which could require medical assistance to fix. Hygiene too has to be considered. Any germs on an inserted item are going to get into you and could cause infections of various types, it is often a good idea to place a condom over your chosen object. So be warned, if you want to insert something make sure it's safe. 

Whatever you choose to insert, it will technically be a dildo and for this reason I will just use the word dildo but you can read it as being whatever you have to hand (hair brush handle, carrot, candle etc..). First off, try to ensure your vagina is well lubricated, either with natural juices or some form of lubrication such as astroglide. Take it easy with the insertion, especially if the object you are using is larger than say a couple of fingers in diameter. Moving the dildo in and out gives a pleasant feeling but experiment with stirring actions and trying different angles of insertion. An angle where the head of the dildo is going to rub up the front wall of your vagina may be especially nice for you (it rubs on your 'G' spot). Working the dildo only takes one hand so it may be fun to use the other elsewhere, such as on your clitoris. This is the most likely way to have an orgasm as few women orgasm from vaginal stimulation only (though it is nice). It can also be fun to combine a dildo with a vibrator at this point as well, or perhaps invest in the type of dildo that also vibrates. 

As with all masturbation the key is to be comfortable. A few positions that may suit you include: 

(a) Standing with one foot raised on something like a chair so that you can get access. 
(b) Lying on the floor or on a bed with both legs drawn up and knees spread 
(c) Kneeling with knees wide apart. This can be enhanced by having a soft chair to lean forward onto. If the dildo is long enough to touch the floor and be inside you at the same, this can be an especially nice position, as pelvic thrusts will move the shaft inside your vagina without you needing to use your hands at all leaning back against a wall with your legs spread. 

Dildos can also be used externally to good effect, especially the softer latex/silicone types that are commercially available. To try this option grease up your dildo with plenty of lube, place it in a flat surface that you can straddle (pile of cushions, arm of a sofa, edge of a bath tub etc) and sit on it so that it runs the length of your vulva from clitoris to anus. Slide your body back and forth so that your weight pushes your clitoris and other sensitive parts down onto the shaft as it slides through between your labia majora, and slide to and fro. If this becomes tiring then hold the position, grab the end of the dildo that is sticking out the front and work it back and forth against yourself. 

It is worth considering issues of dildo size, especially if you are going to spend on a commercial one. First don't believe the myth that bigger is always better. The best is the one that suites you and that may be a long thin one, a short fat one or a long fat one (especially for those of us that have had children). You're no less of a woman if you want a small one or more of one if you want a king-size tool. It should be kept in mind that narrower shafts are easier to insert and allow faster stroking, whereas thicker ones take more inserting and are usually harder to work in and out, though they do give a pleasant 'stuffed' sensation. The bottom line is be realistic in deciding what you need and what you can handle before you buy, unless you can afford a selection! 

External Stimulation - using the dildo on the outside of your body is probably the easiest way to do things to start off with. Here are a couple of ideas to get you started, first of all apply some lube to the dildo and lay it flat on a hard chair. Then if you position yourself above it and sit down so that the dildo runs the full length from the crack of your ass all the way up to your clit and slide yourself back and forth on it. This will provide all kinds of stimulation. 

Head - You can also use the head of the dildo, it's shaped pretty much like the real thing, and rub it against your clitoris. By applying pressure and moving the head over your clitoris in an up and down or circular motion you can provide great stimulation to the clit. The more pressure you apply the faster you will come. On the other hand just using light pressure will take you longer to reach the climax but the result will be a more intense orgasm. For better control, you may find it easier to use two hands to grip the dildo. 

Internal Stimulation - The dildo is a multipurpose kind of toy, it also does a wonderful job when inserted into the vagina as well. One of the things you need to consider is the size of your dildo; it doesn't have to be a huge monster to be effective. Simply find one that is wide enough to be snug inside your vagina and longer than what you need to insert as you have to have something to hold onto. Find a comfortable position to be in while you play. Insert the dildo into your vagina and then begin moving it in an in and out fashion. Depth of the thrusts is entirely dependent on how you feel, and the sensation will be different at different depths. Once you've established a bit of a rhythm start rubbing or stroking your clitoris in time with the strokes. If you want something a little different try positioning the dildo so that when it moves in and out it will pull a bit and stimulate the clitoris that way. 

Double Up - Dildos come in many shapes and flavors so you can get whatever you'd like. You might want to consider purchasing a dual dildo. This will enable you to insert one end into your vagina and the other end into your anus. This way you have double the thrusting pleasure while you stimulate your clit. You can also combine the use of a vibrator in one spot and a dildo in the other. If you were feeling adventurous you could place a vibrating butt plug in your anus and a vibrator in your vagina and stimulate your clit with your fingers. The combinations are only limited by your imagination. 

Odds N Ends

Accessories - Some are other accessories that you would have lying around the house that can provide some interesting stimulation are pieces of furniture and cushions or pillows. An ottoman works nicely for example if you position yourself over it so that a corner of it pushes on your clitoris when you move back and forth. For an extra buzz, trying lifting your hands and feet off the ground when you cum. I haven't personally tried this although it's supposed to give you the 
feeling of flying 

Thigh Squeeze - There are women out there who can achieve orgasm by simply squeezing or rubbing their thighs together. This stimulates the clitoris indirectly. It would be a great skill to have, then if you were out in public and found yourself getting horny you could just take care of it by squeezing your thighs together, no one would be any the wiser, except maybe those people who are reading this. So the next time you see a woman with her legs crossing and perhaps kicking her foot to hide the fact that she's grinding her thighs together you'll have to wonder what she's really doing. 

This technique will take a bit of practice to get it down to a fine art, but that's half the fun of learning new stuff is the practice. When you masturbate at home, make it a habit to press your thighs together when you have an orgasm. After you've done this a few times it will become second nature to you. Once you've mastered this then try pressing your thighs together when you're ready to orgasm and won't be able to stop it but haven't actually climaxed yet. Take your hands away and leave it to your legs to ride yourself over the top. This isn't going to work instantly, you may have a few attempt that die painfully but eventually it will all come together and you will be pleased with the results. Sooner or later with the help of fantasy and association you should be able to proceed using only your thighs from earlier and earlier in the masturbation. Sounds like fun to me! 

Thigh squeezing: Some women can achieve sexual pleasure -- even orgasm -- by simply squeezing or rubbing their thighs together, thus indirectly stimulating the clitoris. This technique can even be used in public! Without risk as there is nothing to show what you are doing and you can remain fully dressed! Long bus ride? Boring desk job or classroom? No problem! 

Suggestions for getting started: When masturbating at home, make it a habit to press together your thighs when you orgasm. After that becomes second-nature, press your thighs when you can't stop yourself from having an orgasm (but haven't yet), and then pull your hands away -- leave it up to your legs to ride yourself over the top. You're bound to have a few frustrating flameouts, but the practice is worth it. Eventually, with the help of fantasy and association, you'll be able to proceed using only your thighs from earlier and earlier in the masturbation process. 

Some women seem to prefer "riding the seam" of jeans; others like the greater closeness of hose or bare legs under a skirt or dress. Experiment and find out what works best for you. 

These are some comments from my readers. "I just wanted to say that I have been one of those lucky ones who can cross her legs and come and I have an extra tip for those who like that exhibitionistic thrill of having an orgasm in public with all sorts of people around - this technique works much better when your bladder is full!. It increases the "inside pressure" on the clitoris. Beware though, after the orgasm, you really feel the need to pee!" "Rhythmically squeezing your thighs is intensely pleasurable, even if you don't orgasm. And when you do......well, it is amazing. Especially if you are in a place where you could get caught!" "I am so sensitive I do not even wear pants, only skirts and dresses. I have to sit squeezing myself with my thighs to keep some control over the sensation when I sit down. It really is a problem to be turned on all of the time." 

Masturbation need not be a hurried thing. If you have plenty of time, the excitement can be built up to amazing levels, and orgasms made stronger, if you go really slowly and tease yourself to a climax. The secret of this is light stimulation rather than the direct/intense stuff discussed earlier. A few personally tested ways of doing this are given below. 

A nice long quill, as long as it is clean, can be great fun. Apart from the flicking and brushing actions described above you can also enjoy a pulling the feather along your vulva like an extension of a single finger. As the feather is less susceptible dampness than a brush you don't need to keep away from your vagina so much. The great thing is that as you get more aroused and feel like pressing on harder the feather simply flexes and so the level of stimulation stays the same. 

Makeup brush: The very large and super soft round headed brushes that are designed for putting on powder foundation make wonderful masturbation tools. First wash yourself well and dry your clitoris and vulva thoroughly. Then, spread out on the bed/floor so that your vulva is wide open. This is one technique where being shaved can be an advantage. With very light flicking strokes tickle your clitoris and inner lips with the bristles of the brush. Stay away from your vaginal entrance as it will probably be/become moist and this moistness will collect on the brush and spoil the delicate stimulation it gives. Important - after a while the sensitivity of your clitoris will increase and you will feel like finishing yourself off quickly. Don't be tempted. The longer this stage lasts the greater the tension will be when you do cum and so the more explosive the climax. No matter how badly you want to drop the brush and finish yourself off quickly stick with the gentle flicking. It will get you there eventually and the journey is sooooo nice!! 

Humping: Humping is thrusting your genitals against something hard or at least firm. Some examples of this include: 
Sliding along the edge of the bath tub: Sitting on a pillow or cushion or similar and rocking the hips back and forth. Lying face down with something like a chair leg pressed up against your vulva. Thrusting up and down to cause your clitoris to rub on the leg. A nicely shaped leg, with ridges etc, can be very pleasurable. 

Floor riding: Strip off and lie on the floor face down. It works best if you are shaved down there but it works if you are hairy too. Press your pubic bone into the floor as hard as you can and rock your body like you are trying to crawl but don't work hard enough to actually move from the spot. The flesh on your pubis will be alternately pulled tight and made slack. This transmits to your clitoris through the outer lips and feels great after a minute or two. (Extra bonus - it is a good exercise for your waist too) 

Cord: There is a range of techniques that all involve moving a cord or something similar back and forward along your vulva. Some examples: 
Take a stocking or a pair of tights and hold the foot in one hand behind your back, let the fabric drape between your legs and hold the other end in your other hand at the front. The material should then be pulled up into the crotch so that it works into your vulva. Pulling it gently backwards and forwards causes it to stimulate your clitoris in a divine way. (PST: silk stockings are so much nicer than nylon for this!) 

Using a cord off a dressing gown or a length of ribbon in the same way as detailed above is also fun. If the ribbon is to be specially purchased for this sort of play, try and get one about an inch wide and a yard long. One with the little edge loops is also worth considering. If its an option, try oiling the material up before playing by rubbing a little lubricant along it's length. 

A long bead necklace or a synthetic pearl string can be great for this too. The knobs feel great as they slide by. Tie a cord/ribbon/etc between the backs of two chairs so that it is suspended at crotch height. Step across, position the cord along your vulva and walk back and forward. 

Tennis Anyone? - This one was sent in to me by one of my readers and it's so cool. "The way I have gotten myself off since as far back as I can remember, is by using a tennis ball. I lie on my stomach and place the ball between my legs pressing against my clitoris. My legs are together and crossed at the ankles. I then begin to squeeze my inner thighs together and work the ball in a humping motion so that it is pressing against my clitoris. As I climax I continue to squeeze with my thighs. This is a very quick way to get off and I usually get multiple orgasms this way." 

Panties for You? - This is another great suggestion from one of my readers. "All my life (after the very first time when I used the backside of a tablespoon) I've used my panties to masturbate. Basically I tug them up into my crack; both front and back, and then tug on the front just over my clitoral area. Positioning of the cloth is important- it needs to be spread rather evenly over the clit so it doesn't become painful- and of course the cloth itself. I've torn up quite a few pairs of panties! There are some advantages to using panties. Tugging really creates a sensation of pushing against the clit, and around back the cloth is being pulled against the anus, stimulating it as well. The same applies to, say, masturbating with slacks or even jeans." 

As was stated at the beginning of the techniques section, there is no wrong way to masturbate. If you try something and it doesn't work for you then I suggest you try another but don't give up the first time you try. We live in a society that tells women that they must be missing out on something if they don't achieve orgasm. That wraps up this little session on female masturbation techniques. I hope you enjoy trying them out. 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Part 1: Sexology Of The Female Masturbation

Part 1: Sexology of the female masturbation: Definitions, Uses...

Subject Index

1 - The masturbation: an absolutely normal practice

2 - Myths and taboos

3 - A doctor's opinion

4 - Technical and practical studies on the female population

5 - Masturbation and erotic toys

6 - 10 reasons for practicing masturbation!

Part 2: Female Masturbation Techniques (Coming Soon)

Part 1: Sexology of the female masturbation: Definitions, Uses...

For those (women or men) who wish to know more about masturbation, I compiled several papers, sources of advice, and definitions on the big, still often taboo subject of masturbation, particularly when it is practiced by women.

1 - The masturbation: an absolutely normal practice

Masturbation consists of touching, caressing or rubbing ones own genitals (or those of ones partner) to achieve pleasurable feelings and excitement. The research of Kinsey and of Masters and Johnson showed that it's a natural activity and that it allows the release of sexual tension.


At any age one may masturbate regularly or occasionally. During childhood, girls and boys often accidentally discover masturbation: they touch their genitalia, realize that it can be very pleasant, and thus continue this activity. Some girls get pleasurable feelings by crossing their legs and squeezing their thighs against one another. But it's often in adolescence that one becomes aware of the sexual character of this practice. 

Masturbation is generally a young person's first sexual experience. From the age of 12 or 13, most boys masturbate regularly. They begin earlier than the girls because their drives are more focused on their genitals. Girls are usually not yet conscious of the importance of the clitoris in sexual excitement. By the end of adolescence, approximately 90 % of the boys and 70 % of the girls are masturbating. 

Thus, there are more women than men who have never masturbated when they have their first sexual relations with another person. Most people continue to masturbate when they're adults. For men, masturbation is more regular and leads more often to orgasm. Nevertheless, as they mature to adulthood, this practice seems to decline for men, whereas for women it increases.

Substitute or alternative in the sexual intercourse?

No, women who masturbate aren't necessarily lonely nor have incompetent partners! Although men sometimes don't accept this practice well because they do judge it to be a sign of dissatisfaction. It's nevertheless natural to continue to masturbate even when one has a regular partner and a satisfactory sexual life. Masturbation can be considered as a supplementary activity, and even as a temporary substitute for sexual relations.

One sometimes masturbates when ones partner isn't sexually available (pregnancy, periods, conflict) but masturbation can have special advantages; it brings another type of pleasure and allows a person to enrich her/his sexual life, while getting to know her/his own body better and to master it. On the other hand, if it is perceived as a refusal, if the woman thinks that her partner masturbates because she's not desirable, it would definitely be useful to discuss it together. Without communication, masturbation can be read as a sign of anger, alienation, or dissatisfaction.

A self-abuse?

There's no "abuse", and it's not only for oneself. Masturbation can be practiced in front of ones partner. A lot of people find it very exciting. It's doubtless the best means to learn how the other one prefers to be stimulated. Each can guide the hand of the partner to show him (her) which pressure and which        rhythm he or she prefers. 

Mutual masturbation can be very pleasant. Ones own desire will be increased by the pleasure of the other. One can also do it before or during sexual intercourse: it serves then as prelude, increases the excitement, or allows the couple to perfect the sexual intercourse.

The best road towards the orgasm

A woman almost always has her first orgasm by masturbating. The discovery of this source of pleasure will largely determine her future sexual life. Masturbation is the erotic activity that allows women to reach orgasm most frequently (95 %) and most quickly (within 4 minutes). Masturbation even increases vaginal lubrication and thus can compensate for the vaginal dryness that may hinder women from reaching orgasm as they get older.

2 - Myths and taboos

A still taboo subject

Formerly condemned, masturbation is accepted as a natural practice today. Nevertheless, one still doesn't speak about it freely. 42% of women admit to masturbating, while more than 90% of men do. In fact, the sense of guilt is more important for women: they refrain more from this activity and admit it less easily also. 

During childhood, the repressive attitude of certain parents can engender later a sense of guilt. Furthermore, for women, the fantasies connected to masturbation (old fantasies, going back up to early childhood) are much stronger. They thus feel guiltier in adulthood if they continue to masturbate while they have a well fulfilled sexual life.

The successful ideas

Masturbation isn't dirty, shameful, or dangerous for the health. Nevertheless, "Onanism" was considered for a long time to be a bad habit.

Centuries of miseducation and prejudice helped to make this pleasure into a cause of guilt. The modern translation of the word keeps the negative image alive: to masturbate comes from the association of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (soil, make dirty). No, masturbation will not make you stutter, won't make you deaf or blind, nor a madman or epileptic. It doesn't cause acne, doesn't make you lose your virginity, nor does it kill either. It CAN be a sign of an emotional problem if it becomes compulsive. 

Men may feel reassured that they don't risk becoming impotent or sterile by masturbating. They don't use up their sperm cells by "wasteful" ejaculations. Certainly, if a man ejaculates several times in a few hours, there'll be fewer sperm in the later ejaculations, but it's only temporary. Testicles make millions of sperm cells every day (those that aren't expelled by ejaculation are decomposed when they get old and then are recycled inside the testicles).

Finally, masturbation doesn't reduce (nor increase) the size of the penis or clitoris! As a matter of fact, masturbation is a normal and beneficial practice for the sexual blooming of each person.

Masturbation is the most spontaneous form of sexuality and the simplest to practice. It allows one to discover one's own body and plays an essential role in adding to sexual satisfaction with a partner or replacing an absent partner. And it can also boost the imagination and be an erotic activity for those without partners.

Next to helping you learn about yourself, masturbation has a very important role in human life. It is a means for women as well as men to relax: "when one has this pleasure, one feels relaxed and calmed until the tension rises again later". Because sex is new to everyone at first, it can feel like you are thrust into the unknown in situations where anyone would naturally be apprehensive, sometimes even anxious. Testing new things by yourself first can help you feel more comfortable with a partner.

Masturbation and pleasure-training

Masturbation can train you to know what your body is capable of in its response to pleasure, in the enrichment of its sensations and its feelings, as well as in the blossoming of your fantasies. It's extremely balancing to discover and to exploit your own possibilities of pleasure. During adolescence, masturbation gives physical pleasure a purpose and a place in the young person's life. At all ages, masturbation functions to compensate for or to replace other sexual games when they're impossible, whether for a moment or permanently. For animals, masturbation also seems to play this role and to be us ed as a method of reassurance: female monkeys use a finger or other object, male monkeys use their hands, elephants use their trunk, wild deer and domestic bulls rub themselves against trees, dogs and cats use their tongues…

Masturbation and freedom of the game

In addition, for human beings, masturbation calms fear and stress, because pleasure has a fundamental role in one's psychic balance. Masturbation also has a playful role, of escapism without danger for oneself or for others : by releasing your fantasy life, by playing with erotic images, by escaping into an unreal world you can level out, release tensions, build up your secret garden where you martial your strength and feed its vitality in order to hold out in a crushing, exhausting society where the perspectives offered are often inferior and empty, where you're submerged by social relations without pleasure, dissatisfied and anonymous. Sometimes masturbation has no role of replacement: sex for you and your partner is good, but one of you feels you are missing out on another type of sexuality, where you don't have to pay attention to anybody else, where you follow your own rhythm and the wanderings of your own imagination.

Masturbation and sexual balance

In a couple, one or the other may also want a higher frequency of orgasms: masturbation is the simplest means to achieve this desire and to dissipate the frustration. And actually, masturbation can also involve the partner, becoming a part of the game for both: to reduce human sexuality to vaginal penetration means neglecting the wealth and variety of the behaviours that can bring human enjoyment. Masturbation offers to the couple a possibility of different sensations, to women for whom this way of reaching orgasm can bring another kind of pleasure; to men, for whom masturbation often brings an intensity of excitement that is not allowed by either the softness of a vagina nor the obligation to hold on for a certain time.

Masturbation and guilt

Some feel guilty about resorting to masturbation, as if they stole something from their significant other: if to be satisfied by masturbation leads you to refuse sex with your partner, naturally that's a problem. But, in a couple, it's not necessary that we do everything together; must all our pleasures be strictly shared? shopping, sports, music, reading? If masturbation isn't an escape, but a search for balance, then you both will be at ease, and can experience your sex life with each other without tension. Whereas frustration due to an insufficient sexuality might cause you to resent your partner, and even wish to turn away from sex with him or her.

A personal choice

As a matter of fact, there's a multitude of ways to live out your sexuality. Masturbation is one: by yourself or in the presence of your partner, frequent or occasional, solitary or mutually shared, it colours the life of one person, is absent in the life of another one, is present in that of the third, but retains its fundamental quality of always being accessible without ever being imposed, something that people can take or leave according to their whim.

3 - A doctor's opinion

Doctor Yves Ferroul, on December 6th, 2000

Most women caress, rub, or press their genitals while in various positions: standing, sitting, or lying down. You can stretch out on the bed, with legs spread or with knees up, or sit down with your back against the head of the bed or against the wall. Certain women like directly touching the clitoris; others prefer an indirect stimulation by caressing the parts of the "mountain of Venus" beside the clitoral shaft. It's often the middle finger which is used. You can caress your clitoris from top to bottom, from side to side, or rub in a circle around it if you're too sensitive.

The best pressure and rhythm vary from one woman to the next. Please begin slowly and gently, and then you can get faster and press harder until you find what is easiest for you and what is the most pleasant. Many women keep the same rhythm all the way to the orgasm; others pause periodically, or vary the speed.

Many women insert a finger or an object into the vagina. To insert the middle finger can both feel good and be useful. It can be a support for the other fingers which are stimulating the neighbouring erogenous zones. Your finger also allows you to use vaginal secretions to lubricate the clitoris and the small lips. Otherwise, please moisten your fingers with some saliva or use a water-based lubricant. Continuous and overly intense stimulation of the clitoris can cause it to slightly ache. If so, shift your caresses to a different area. Stimulating the clitoral hood can work if the clitoris itself becomes irritated by the friction.

The orgasm

When you feel an orgasm approaching, you can press your heels against one another to increase the pressure in the groin. You can also contract then loosen the muscles of the pelvis and the buttocks. Bodily movements and groaning may help some women to more easily reach orgasm, while others

Fantasies play a naturally important role: you can relive a hot scene with your partner, or if that doesn't excite you enough, please imagine what you'd like to do with somebody else! It's only fantasy, remember. You might reach an orgasm in a few minutes but it can sometimes take a quarter of an hour: everything depends on your mood, on your physical state (fatigue, stress), and on your excitement.

When you're at the edge of the orgasm, contract the muscles of the pelvis and buttocks. You can also do "Kegel" exercises by rhythmically contracting the same muscle that can start and stop the flow while urinating.

It is good to pursue this stimulation during the orgasm; it will very likely be more intense and may later enable you to have multiple orgasms.

Any sorts of objects

You can stretch out on your stomach on top of a pillow and rub yourself against it or rub against a pillow placed between your thighs. Stretched out on your back, you can use a sheet or a blanket pulled in a back and forth movement. Some women sit down on the floor and rub themselves against the foot of a chair. Even there, the most important thing is the regularity of the rhythm.

Dildos, vibrators, or other "Sexy Toys" can be very enjoyable. There's a multitude of fun gadgets invented for the pleasure of the woman (alone or with her partner).

With some water

During a bath, soaping the body and the genitals is a good start, but please, don't introduce your fingers into your vagina: the soap could modify the PH of your vaginal flora, and you could even catch candidacies, or cystitis. If you want to directly stimulate the clitoral zone, you may sit down or kneel and use the spray from the showerhead. You may position yourself so that the water from the tub spouts drips or splashes against our clitoris. You can move on to manual stimulation if these methods don't bring you to an orgasm. Certain models of bidets send a small fountain upward. Please, also think of Jacuzzi and "whirlpool" bathtubs which can engender very voluptuous sensations.

Vary the Pleasures

Why not try less intimate places? Even public places? No, it's not a question of playing exhibitionist, but simply of bringing more excitement to the game. You can very well indulge yourself for a few minutes during work, in the public toilet, at an evening party, or even in the plane (don't forget the blanket in that case!).

By looking at yourself in a mirror you can see what you look like when you're excited, and when you reach orgasm!

Please, also think of stimulating the other parts of your body. Massage your breasts, arms, and even your whole body with an oil or a moisturizing cream; this can constitute a good beginning. And what is more, caressing your breasts, nipples, and stomach when you're at the edge of an orgasm can intensify the pleasure.

Please try various positions: while lying on the bed with a pillow under your stomach, reach your hand over your buttocks to touch your genitals; try it standing, or leaning against the wall. Let your imagination express itself.

4 - Technical and practical studies on the female population

The art of the feminine masturbation

Women enjoy giving themselves pleasure. The report of the famous American sex therapist Shere Hite, who, in the 1970s, conducted a survey of women all across the United States, showed this. How they do their masturbation is also something this study tried to learn. Here are some results and testimonies extracted from the "Hite report".

3000 women anonymously answered this comprehensive questionnaire of feminine sexuality (orgasm, sexual intercourse, clitoris, masturbation). 82% declared that they masturbated, and, among them, 95% had no trouble reaching orgasm every time they wanted it. All this, according to the sex therapist, contradicted the usually accepted idea that women are "slow to start", and that they have difficulty in reaching orgasm. Over all, the inquiry allowed six types of masturbation to be distinguished (with some variants).

In the very great majority of the cases (73%), the woman manually excites the clitoral region and/or vulva while lying on her back.
  • "I use my finger to stimulate the clitoris, sometimes inserting another finger into my vagina at the same time. I touch only my genital area when I masturbate";
  • "I masturbate by manipulating my clitoris in a side to side massaging manner, starting gently and increasing in intensity of pressure. I use my finger (one hand). The motion is slightly circular combined with side to side, mainly";
  • "I masturbate with my fingers on my clitoris, and other fingers gently pinching, pulling, and scratching, across the surface of my nipples. Sometimes I rub up and down, sometimes in circles. And my legs are sometimes together, and sometimes apart. It is especially exciting to hold my hand still and get the friction by movement of the body against the stationary finger".
The woman can also lie upon her stomach on the bed (5.5%).
  • "When masturbating, I lie on my stomach with my legs slightly apart, using both hands, the knuckles of the right hand providing the direct pressure to the mons, with the left hand adding more pressure to the right hand. The motion of a moderately rapid front-to-back movement provides the clitoral friction I need";
  • "I masturbate on my stomach with my legs together, pressing on my clitoris with the fingers of both hands (index and middle fingers), one on top of the other. Sometimes I fondle my breasts or buttocks with one hand, or insert my fingers into my vagina, but not usually";
  • "Then I turn onto my stomach. I begin to use a circular motion with two fingers on my clitoris and occasionally an up and down motion with my clitoris between my fingers. With my right hand I check to see if my vagina is wet, and fantasize. I continue to stimulate my clitoris
  • with my left hand and then insert two fingers into my vagina";
  • "I kind of hold the vibrator more or less steady under me as I lie face down, and move my body on and around it".
Certain women (4%) rub themselves on an object - soft or hard - without touching themselves with their hands.
  • "I make a clump in the bedding about the size of a fist (I used to use the head of my poor teddy bear, but since I became too old to sleep with a teddy bear, a wad of the sheets has to suffice) and then lie on my stomach on top of it so that it exerts pressure on my clitoris. I then move my hips in a circular motion until I climax very simple";
  • "I don't masturbate. Well, a little rubbing against the sheets maybe";
  • "Usually I masturbate on the corner of a chair or something similar with a pillow between my legs. I hump up and down with my legs together. I discovered this method by accident as a child of four";
  • "I draw myself up slowly against a bathroom sink, and press my mons against it very hard. The sink is stimulating because it is cold. Sometimes I revolve my legs to press harder, and sometimes 'flap' them to vibrate the vulva";
Others tighten their thighs rhythmically, in a repeated way (3%).
  • "When I masturbate, I sit up in a chair or on the bed, cross my legs right over left at the knees and use the pressure of my inner thighs, exerting all the energy in my body and cantering it in my genitals."
  • "I masturbate by rubbing my thighs together, usually lying down, but it can be done sitting up (in an office, on a bus, etc.). I rub them rhythmically, putting subtle pressure on the clitoris. The tension gradually builds to an orgasm".
They can also massage their genital region with some water (2 %).
  • "I masturbate with shower water only. I aim it at my clitoris, legs spread apart";
  • "I lie in the tub on my back with a stream of very warm water on my vagina, mons, and clitoris. The harder the pressure and hotter the water, the quicker the orgasm";
  • "I remove the head from my shower to allow a steady stream of water to come out. I open the vaginal lips, exposing my clitoris";
Only a few women use only vaginal penetration (1.5%) and more half of these stimulate their clitoral areas first manually.
  • "I put one finger on my clitoris and with the other hand I move a bottle in and out of my vagina (a plastic bottle)";
  • "My husband works a dildo in and out of my vagina while I press a vibrator to my clitoris";
  • "I usually use a back and forth movement in my vagina, or just hold my fingers there for a while".
  • Finally, 11 % of the women having answered the questionnaire combine some of these techniques to end in the orgasm.
  • "I masturbate of many manners. On the back in the bathtub, on my bed, on the divan, on the floor and everything crosses my bosoms, my stomach, my thighs, my buttocks, my vagina and my clitoris there. I like rolling my clitoris between the thumb and the index, a finger in the vagina and playing with my bosoms and with my nipples, which I find very beautiful. So by loving me I let wander my imagination. I also like varying my caresses with a vibrator"
5 - Masturbation and erotic toys

Dildos or godemichés

These objects generally have the shape and size of a male genital organ in erection. Their shape can be more or less realistic, some are smooth and discreet and look nothing like an actual penis; some, like the godemiché (wrinkled 'loaf'), can be very realistic. They come in all sizes. They're either hard (made of plastic or metal), or flexible (of soft latex).

How to use them?

You can press the vibrator firmly against the small lips varying the pressure until you orgasm.
With legs apart, you can hold the length of the vibrator against your genitals to rub yourself with it forward and backward. You can use the vibrator also while sitting or stretched out. You can move the vibrator in circular movements, or squat above it. Use your imagination for other positions and other techniques. In fact, most of women don't use this instrument inside their vagina, but only outside to stimulate the clitoris.


The vibrator is an electrical device which vibrates, massages, and which is thus very effective in stimulating the clitoris and the inside of the vagina. Battery powered vibrators are more noisy but are the most popular models. Certain models can vary the intensity, which allows you to vary the sensations. Others are even hollow and contain a liquid which can be expelled by a piston to "feign the ejaculation".

6 - 10 reasons for practicing masturbation!

Advantages and inconveniences

These sexy toys are very easy to use, and terribly effective! A woman can each an orgasm within 3 minutes. These instruments are very useful if you're tired, if you don't have a lot of time, or if you're anorgasmic. But this kind of masturbation can never replace your hand, or your partner.
The sensations that manual stimulation can offer you are much richer. So, please use both!

1. Masturbation allows us to investigate our body and to discover the sensations, the movements, the caresses which excite us most. We then know best our sexual needs and the way of satisfying them. This knowledge can obviously be shared with our partner.

2. Masturbation is a physical and emotional reassurance. It releases the tensions that arise from sexual impulses, and helps us to sleep. No more need of sleeping pills!

3. It makes us more lucid by teaching us to separate love from sex. Reaching an orgasm obviously does not prove that one is in love!

4. If you're single, your will power may still fail concerning chocolate bars, but by masturbating regularly, you won't tear your hair out, and you won't be tempted to go to bed any more with whoever is handy.

5. It's an occasion to concentrate on your own pleasure, without needing to worry about your partner's pleasure.

6. Masturbation allows you to fight the effects of certain sexual dysfunctions: anorgasmy for women and premature ejaculation for men. After a period of abstinence, it's better if the man masturbates at least one hour before sexual intercourse; it'll help him to delay his ejaculation.

7. The more you masturbate; the more orgasms you can have, with or without your partner. Women who get used to masturbating until they have an orgasm have more chances to reach an orgasm later with their partner.

8. It's good for your health: orgasm increases the blood circulation, fights the effects of stress, and gives you sensational skin. For women, it strengthens and at the same time softens the muscles Kinsey used during love.

9. The report proved it: people who masturbate when young have a more fulfilled, more active sex life, and continue to do so much longer.

10. There's no evil in doing oneself good.