1. Foreplay Techniques: Understanding Foreplay
Talking of foreplay, it's interesting to note that many oriental love texts compare the sexual desire of a woman to water, which is slow to come to a boil and slow to cool down. It stems from the fact that women need effective and prolonged foreplay to fully enjoy the sexual act.
But on the contrary, the sexual desire of a man is compared to fire, which is quick to ignite and is speedily extinguished. Most love manuals stress that sex should be a perfect balance of these two elements - for a harmonious and mutually pleasurable experience.
Foreplay is thus the most important part of lovemaking. As the best sex involves long and sensual foreplay - it begins way ahead of the bedroom! Everything that is sexually stimulating - flirting, touching, laughing together, complimenting - is a kind of foreplay as it effectively harmonizes the physical and emotional senses and readies the couple for the act.
1.1: Foreplay for Arousal
According to a recent sex survey, Indian men were found to be the fastest to climax, with an average foreplay time of 13.98 minutes. But sensitive foreplay is important to sex as it will help both partners to enjoy sexual intercourse to the fullest. Sometimes, women may need prolonged stimulation to reach complete arousal and foreplay also helps to become lubricated and enjoy penetration.
1.2: Creating the Mood
Foreplay is not just about pressing the right buttons in the right order. It is about giving your partner extreme pleasure and deriving your own from that act of giving. Pay attention to detail, compliment your partner on their appearance and show them that you enjoy being with them.
When the mood is right, take time to undress each other slowly, as the act of removing your partner's clothes can be an important part of successful foreplay. Many couples find that undressing increases the eroticism and stimulates and intensifies the feeling.
1.3: A Learning Experience
Foreplay is the perfect time to understand your partner's likes and dislikes - and to find out what they really need to be fully stimulated. Feel free to ask for feedback and give your own. Good communication during foreplay and lovemaking surely has its benefits. If words fail you, show or guide your partner in the direction you want and encourage them to do the same.
2. Foreplay Techniques: Magical Wedding Night
2.1: Take things slowly Savor this moment.
While you may be a little too tired to have the most technically excellent sex of your lives, this is likely to be among your most romantic and intimate sexual experiences.
2.2: Lower your expectations
So this may not be the most amazing sex you've ever had. So what? Try to just enjoy whatever happens.
2.3: Talk to each other
Spend some time relaxing, talking about the wedding, and about your love for each other. Let things get romantic and sappy. The sex that follows will be intimate and amazing.
2.4: Expand your idea of the "wedding night"
If you're too tired for foreplay, that sex isn't going to be so great. Couldn't it be better to wait until the morning?
2.5: Flirt with each other during the wedding
It can be easy to spend the whole wedding greeting Aunt Sally and Cousin Bob, cutting the cake, and attending to a thousand other details. Don't forget to stop, stare into each other's eyes, share a few extra kisses, and flirt with each other. It will also help build the excitement for your alone time later.
2.6: Don't have sex with each other for a couple of weeks before the wedding
Many couples try this to make the wedding night sex fresh and new again. Others go even further by giving up sex months before the wedding so that they may be virgin-like on the wedding night.
2.7: Try something new
Perhaps there's been something you've been wanting to try? Your wedding night can be a fun night to experiment,
2.8: Wear something special
Wedding night lingerie can really help the mood. Pick something a little different than what you usually wear to excite your partner. Make sure you feel confident in it, as a confident lover is almost always a better lover.
2.9: Set the stage
Help yourselves get into the mood by setting the stage. Light some candles, bring some CDs and a radio, scatter rosepetals, or do whatever helps you get in the mood. And don't be afraid to kick friends and family out early. While they may tease you a little, they'll certainly understand!
3. Foreplay Techniques: For Virgin
3.1: Will I Bleed / Will She Bleed?
It is common for the female virgin to experience pain and small quantities of bleeding when having sex for the first time. If you are in a hotel room or you do not wish to stain the bed sheets, just place a towel on the bed before getting started. To minimize pain and blood-flow, ensure that you both enjoy plenty of foreplay and use copious amounts of lubricant.
Try to forget your anxieties of pain and bleeding. Remember that such side-effects of virgin-sex are natural and entirely common. Spend as much time as possible in foreplay and ensure that both partners have lined themselves with plenty of lubricant.
3.2: Communicate Desires And Fears
Communication is important in any relationship. Communication before and during sex for the first time is no less important. Share your hopes, share your fears. You will be surprised to learn that you will each have many hopes and fears in common. It is the act of sharing your desires and anxieties that will, ironically, act to reduce them or, perhaps, eliminate them altogether.
Knowing, for instance, that you both worry about "being any good" will act to eliminate this anxiety because now you each feel less pressure related to performance because you each know the other is equally worried about his or her performance. The same rationale can be used for each anxiety. When you share your fears and such fears are mirrored by your partner they will, almost magically, disappear.
3.3: Will I Maintain An Erection?
Let me ask you a question. Do you suffer erectile problems during masturbation? No? Then you will not suffer erectile problems during sex. It is, yet again, anxiety of an act that has yet to happen that may actually cause it to happen. You worry about not maintaining an erection; therefore, you do not maintain an erection.
Do you agree? It is true. As a virgin, making love for the first time, you must put this anxiety out of your mind and concentrate on the act of lovemaking. Fear of erectile problems will cause erectile problems. Since you have no problem maintaining an erection normally, there is no biological reason why you should suffer the problem during sexual intercourse.
To ensure that you can maintain an erection you must spend much time on initial sex-foreplay; work yourself up to a highly aroused state. Foreplay is also important because, the longer you spend at it, the more your confidence will build and the less chance you will have of losing your erection.
3.4: Will I Perform Well?
As sex tips for virgins go, this tip seems to be most popular. Why? I think it is because virgins tend to be more anxious about overall sexual performance more than they are about anything else. What is a good performance? A good performance occurs when both parties enjoy the experience. The secret to giving a good sexual performance is concentrating on your partner and ensuring they receive as much pleasure as you are able to give.
Let them be the center of your universe. Notice what they seem to like and respond to it appropriately. It is common for virgins to feel uncomfortable during sex and also to make mistakes. If you do make a mistake, just laugh about it. It is common to make mistakes after all. If you laugh about a mistake it makes it seem like nothing at all.
3.5: Will I Orgasm?
Women tend to orgasm less frequently than men when having sex for the first time. It cannot be said whether you will orgasm or not. However, one thing is certain, you will have more chance of having an orgasm is you do two things.
Firstly, you must not worry about having an orgasm. It is not essential to your enjoyment of sex.
Secondly, concentrate on the pleasure of lovemaking, so much so that you forget about anxieties and, perhaps, even the world about you. Like most anxieties, the more you worry about orgasm, the less chance you will have of actually having one.
If you follow the five sex tips for virgins, I guarantee your chances of making love successfully for the first time will be greatly improved. Overall, if you take one thing away with you from this article, just remember to relax and concentrate on the beautiful act of lovemaking with your partner.
4. Foreplay Techniques: For Married Couple
4.1: He Element of Surprise
Ok, so you're both used to Sunday morning when the kids are glued to the cartoons, or Friday evenings when you know you can both have a bit of a lie in.
Well how about mounting a surprise attack?
Shuffle the kids off to the grandparents or the neighbours, and pretend that you're expecting guests. At the last minute explain to your spouse that they have cancelled, and then proceed to act inappropriately.
Ladies pin him to the couch.
Gentlemen caress her from behind and take her then and there. Don't just leave it to the evenings, try mornings or afternoons, in the shower in the garden, in the kitchen. Just do something different and make sure it's a surprise!
4.2: Introduce new Sensations
Can you imagine the feel of cool yet soft silk on your skin? The cold of a leather strap or ice cube?
Instead of the usual grope and fumble in the dark, change the sensations!
Introduce some heat.. sip some warm water and then proceed to her nether regions. The warmth of your mouth will drive her wild.
Take some ice-cream and drop it onto his body. Proceed to lick it off very slowly.
If you're worried about the mess, simply book a hotel room.
4.3: Give them a Tantric Massage
Ok you may be thinking - 'Well I touch them intimately anyway!'
But ask yourself how you really touch your lover's body.
* Is it a quick grope?
* Are you completely focused on them?
* Can you describe how their skin feels?
* Have you touched their genitals in a very slow and sensual way?
But there's no time like the present to learn the Art of Sensual Massage. It will send your pleasure and orgasm intensity through the roof, as is a great way to spoil, indulge and pamper your lover, not to mention a great way to increase the intimacy in your relationship.
4.4: Take the Time to Kiss
The Kama Sutra has listed 19 different types of kissing. So keep this in mind before you give him or her a sloppy wet one, lacking any passion or finesse.
Focus on each of the lips, explore their mouth, alternate between light caresses and more intense pressure. The Kama Sutra also states that sucking on the upper lip, results in stimulation the clitoris. The lips are sensitive, so less is always more, especially where the ladies are concerned.
Remember variety is important.
4.5: Tie Me Up - Tie Me Down
Granted this is not for everyone, and requires trust between lovers.
So if you are comfortable with your lover / spouse, then a bit of 'Power Indulgence' could just be right for you.
The essence of Bondage is that one person is in control and the other person is to be completely indulged. The thrills come from one partner being able to do what ever they like to the submissive person, and the submissive person surrendering to the other and allowing themselves to be completely pleasured.
Speak to your lover about your thoughts or concerns, and exactly what and how much you're comfortable with.