One of the biggest mistakes couples make is not taking the time to just be together. Sometimes slowing down and really experiencing your partner is all you need to create desire.
The brain is the most powerful sex organ you have. The eye stimulates the brain. Admire your partner; look at his or her body, naked, but without touching.
Listen while your partner tells you’re his or her sexual fantasies. Really listen to what your partner tells you, and then talk about it. Talking about sex can be very stimulating.
Tell your partner your fantasies. Watch your partner get excited at your excitement, and then discuss your fantasy and how to use it in your sex life.
Kissing is often overlooked between couples. Spend some time just kissing and feeling each other's lips and mouths.
Lightly touch each other with your hands. Caress each other gently but don't grab or grope. Feel each other's skin, curves and warmth.
Use a little more pressure to rub each other's shoulders, stomachs, and legs. Try to stay away from genitalia for now to increase desire.
Using your fingertips, lightly tickle your partner's most sensitive body parts: the backs of knees, neck, back, belly, and elbows. Tell each other way feels good.
Have your partner lie on his or her stomach. Rub and massage his or her back, moving form the neck down to the buttocks. Do this with gentle pressure.
Touch each other's private body parts: breasts, vagina, and penis. Do this gently to inspire desire but not urgency.
Use your tongue to create desire. Run your tongue along your partner's naked body – avoid genitalia, concentrate on sensitive areas.
Using your nose and eyelashes, rub your face along your partner's naked body. Make little circles with your nose and brush your lips against sensitive areas avoiding genitalia.
Use your lips to gently nip at your partner's erogenous zones. Avoid the genitalia to create desire but not urgency. Necks, knees, elbows and bellies are good places to try.
Using your mouth and tongue, lightly suck on your partner's erogenous zones like his or her neck, chest, belly and the backs of his or her knees and elbows. Try not to leave marks.
Play a sexy game that has the potential to lead to sex. For example, go to dinner as if you were on a first date; try to "pick up" your partner at a club.
16. Dress Up
Dress up in costumes. Women can use lingerie, a cheerleader costume, a nurse's uniform. Men can use a doctor's coat, a football jersey, or silk underwear. Use your imagination!
Undress each other very slowly. Start with your partner's shirt, then pants, then undergarments. Don't hurry – take a long time to build anticipation.
Purchase a large feather or several small ones. Run these very lightly over your partner's naked body. Touch them with the feather to find the most sensitive spots, and then concentrate on those spots.
Use massage oils and rub your partner's back, neck, shoulders, legs and torso. Flavored massage oils can also add another dimension to mouth and tongue play.
Any kind of lubrication is terrific, and applying it to your partner's genitalia can be very stimulating. Use flavored lubes to add a special treat to oral play.
Using sex toys to stimulate yourself while your partner watches or to use on your partner can lead to mutual orgasm now or later.
Use a vibrator on all sensitive parts of your body or your partner's body. Avoid genitalia at first to increase desire and anticipation.
Dildos are not just for women, though they are the ones who use them most often. Run the dildo over all sensitive erogenous zones to build anticipation.
24. Strap On Dildos
Again, strap on dildos are not just for women. Massage the strap on dildo with your hand while your partner wears it, or vice versa. Use your mouth or other body part to massage the dildo as well.
Watching pornography with your partner can be not only stimulating for you from what you see, but can also stimulate both of you as you watch each other's desire grow.
Pornographic movies can benefit both sexes. Before renting or buying a video or DVD, discuss what kind of porn appeals to both of you, and then find something that works with your decision.
Purchasing a pornographic magazine can be as exciting as actually looking at the pictures inside. Go together to buy the magazine, and then look at the pictures together when you get home. Show each other what pictures you like the best.
Finding internet pornography is easier than going out to purchase it for some people who are shy about those things. Find a free site, or subscribe to a site that both you and your partner find arousing. Sit together and enjoy it, discussing your favorite parts.
Take turns with your partner telling each other dreams or your favorite sexual memory with that person. Be creative – if you and your partner are comfortable with it, discuss sexual encounters with other people.
Bondage does not have to lead to whips and spankings, though this is another great option if you are interested. Tying your partner up is a way to take control of give up control.
Using handcuffs can inspire a cops and robbers sex game, or it can just add to the dominant/submissive aspect to foreplay. Use furry handcuffs for more comfort.
Using men's dress ties can be a silky and comfortable way to encourage bondage play. Once you or your partner is tied up, tickle, nibble, lick or massage him or her to promote desire.
When you are experimenting with bondage, you may want to buy leather straps to use to tie up your partner. Leather straps are a little more intense than softer materials, but just as erotic.
Scarves made of soft materials add another silky and sexy tactile aspect to bondage play. Tickle your partner with the scarf before tying him or her up.
35. Panty Hose
After dressing up, the female partner can take off her stockings and use them to tie up her partner or have him tie her up. This is a great way to extend game play into bondage play.
36. Strip Poker
Playing strip poker may sound cliché, but in fact it can be a great way to extend foreplay. Thinking about the game distracts you from the impending nakedness.
37. Strip Monopoly
Playing any board game where the penalties involve stripping is a great way to spice up your relationship. Instead of paying for properties and hotels, unbutton buttons and flash body parts!
38. Strip Checkers
While you are playing this game you strategy can be distracting your partner with sexy banter. Instead of "Kinging" the other person, remove an article of clothing!
A hot, relaxing bath could be just the thing to relax both you and your partner and urge you towards desire and sex!
40. Wash Her
Using a large, soft and soapy sponge, give your female partner a bath. Gently wash her body with the sponge, and then shampoo her hair, rubbing her scalp gently. Finish with a warm rinse and big warm towel.
41. Wash Him
Use a large, sudsy sponge to give your male partner a long massaging bath. Rub his neck, back, shoulders and other areas before attending to his private areas. Finish with a gentle rinse and a warm towel.
Using aromatherapy that is specially blended for romance or desire can be a wonderful way to bring on desire. Most bath stores will carry these items in oils, bath salts, and lotions.
A bubble bath is a fun and exciting way to have a bath without seeing each other naked but while still being naked together. This leaves more to the imagination, and it can stimulate arousal.
44. Bath Oils
Aromatherapy bath oils for romance or relaxation are a good way to relax or stimulate each other while still keeping arousal on the brain. Added to a hot bath, both partners can benefit from this technique.
45. Bath Salts
Bath salts are fun because they are a different approach to a bath. They add smell and texture to a hot, relaxing bath. Many bath salts bubble as they dissolve, and this can add an exciting and stimulating aspect to your bath.
Once you have run your bath and added any chosen oils or salts, get into the tub with your partner and sit as far away as you can get. Tease and gently touch each other with fingers and toes avoiding genitals.
47. Games – Physical
Sometimes a good workout is all you need to work up a healthy dose of desire. Play soccer, football, tennis, or any other physical game with your partner that will work up a sweat and raise your yearning.
Sit quietly in a corner of the room while your partner gets undressed, lies in the bed, and masturbates. You can touch yourself or just enjoy the show.
49. Join In
Joining your partner in a mutual masturbation session can be highly erotic. Lay naked next to your partner and masturbate while he or she does the same.
50. Help Out
While you are watching your partner masturbate, you may feel inclined to lend him or her a helping hand. Don’t fight this urge! Have him or her show you what he or she likes.